In light of the loss of my cherished loved one, my uncle, our family rock, I have come to the resolution that I do not want to leave this world in a sheath of black and “gag” carnations or lilies! I know some will find this morbid or say I am a control freak, (I am), but that’s beside the point. I really do not want my husband or kids to wonder if mom wants this or would I have liked that at my funeral.
First off, the funeral is for those who are left here on earth. Please know my plan is to be dancing in heaven with those that have gone before me and haunting those that aren’t doing my bidding here on earth (wink, wink). In all seriousness, here are a few of the things I would like to take place at my funeral in no specific order.
Music – Play Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Judy Garland at the end of the services you choose to have. Like a wedding song, it’s always been one that comes to my mind when I think of this day. You know I have a fondness for the Wizard of Oz. The playlist should include “When I get where I’m going” by Brad Paisley for certain! Know my grandfather was my first love, he loved well and died when I was 5.. probably the start of my daddy issues. He will be the first person I want to see, my mama second, Uncle, Grandmother, the babies I never got to meet.. there were 2.. And WHM better be there with his stupid grin. Izzy and I have a song that we both love and it expresses my love for each of you kids and grandkids- Christina Perrys – 1000 Years.
Flowers – Do not spend a ton of money on flowers… if you feel the need, I would love Gerber daisies and English Ivy… something Secret Gardenish… whimsical and fun. NO CARNATIONS, I don’t care that they are cheap! Carnations piss me off.. probably because it is all I could afford for my mother’s funeral when I was 25, thankfully aforementioned uncle would not let me bury her in a pine box…
Words Spoken– Please do not have a pastor who doesn’t know me from Adam speak too much… a few words and some thoughtful prayers are fine, I don’t want anyone to struggle to say words about me. I want the real people who were in my life to speak.. I want you to talk about how I am an awful driver, or how I love to sing country music at the top of my lungs!! I want you to talk about how I play contemporary Christian music to keep my anxiety-ridden mind calm. Talk about how I worry constantly about my beautiful babies and drive them nuts checking on them! You are the best accomplishments I have ever or will ever make! Tell stories about how I wait until the last minute to clean like a crazy person before any event in my home! Don’t forget that I love you and couldn’t ever hug those I loved enough, and I am hugging you now.
Food– Have carbs! Lots and lots of carbs.. macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes, cheesy potatoes, and bread! Drink wine, cocktails, and toast me… and curse me but get it all out!
Don’t forget to have a pizza with pepperoni and green olives! I can’t wait to get to Heaven and eat gluten!! Tacos!! Have tacos…and queso made with Velveeta. Frank and Morgan—Mexican food!
Gathering-Please gather however you see fit and welcome whoever comes to join you. Have a venue where you can go outside if it is nice weather… let the kids go out and play.. take chairs outside and know that my happiest times were outside with family and friends talking and being together, put your phones down! Please do not use this time to air family issues, I know you may be struggling and miss me but so are others who deal with it in their way. If you decide to show your crazy (you know who you are) don’t let it cause a family rift… I birthed three very different types of children and married two more, and you will all need each other, my greatest wish is that you all stay close. Hold hands and pray together before it’s all over.. DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES TAKE ANY PICTURES OF ME IN A CASKET! Show plenty of pictures of us, but don’t you dare take a picture of me after I’m cold and dead.. Eat, drink, and be merry…. Play my favorite songs and dance!
Apparel- Please don’t wear black unless it is what you wear all the time (Pamela Wendy), wear kelly green, bright yellow, and beautiful colors that are alive!! Be beautiful and handsome!! Know I was proudest when you looked nice, yes, appearances do make a difference.. also wear something that sparkles or glitters!
My Earthly Vessel Disposal – Take all my jewelry off, if I wore it all the time, it meant something to me. Do not bury me with it, share it with my daughters, nieces, or granddaughters if I have them but don’t bury me with it. Put me in something classy, that makes me look thin! I want my hair done in a chic do for my viewing and don’t forget lipstick and lashes. I want to be barefoot though.. I hated shoes in life… so never put another pair on me!
I think there should be a viewing but I want to be cremated. Don’t waste money on a piece of earth that you may or may not visit. I don’t like being cooped up and alone alive.. don’t do that to me after I’m gone. Divide my ashes between whoever wants them and please, please sprinkle some at a beach.. let part of me exist on a beach for eternity.
Obituary- As I love writing and I’m writing this blog, please write something and list all my kids, bonus kids, and perfect, perfect grandbabies!!
Pallbearers – I don’t need them as I am being cremated but if I had them… I would want my brothers because we carried each other through some hell growing up, any of my ex-husbands or my current hubby.. because we made vows to each other, I’m sorry I wasn’t a great wife, but none of you carried me over a threshold, you can carry me out! My kids if they want but I know it’s hard. They can do whatever they want.. because mama said.
Please know that I love and serve our amazing GOD. He and I talk all the time! I’m, not a great Christian, I cuss and I’m way too real but I love our God! Talk to him, pray to him! Read the bible! Teach our babies about him! Pray before every big dinner. Have lots of family dinners! Stop and pray with your friends when they need it! Don’t care what others think. A prayer can go a long way with someone.
I love you all so much! You made my life a heaven on earth! Momma
#glitteredwithgrace #funeralinstructions #controlfreak #lovedeeply